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Forever and a Day
Choi Ju-hye  |  graceface.choi@gmail.com
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승인 2013.12.15  18:17:24
트위터 페이스북 구글 카카오스토리
Smile and hold him, that lonely, forgotten figure, just like he used to do when you were younger. Because he is still waiting for that day when you’d say, once again, "I will always love you." Because he will soon drift away from your arms.
Dad.
I suddenly realize that you are not going to be here anymore, that I’m finally going to be alone. Independent, courageous, and ambitious. But why is it that the world suddenly seem so scary and intimidating? Why is it that the deep corner of my heart feels pain that overflows and wells up in my eyes?
   
 
You seem to have a superpower you know, a superpower that makes you seem immortal and forever-existing, when you are actually not. Maybe I was just stupid enough to believe your disguise.
But I know. Now I see.
One day you will go away to a distant land. Only now I realize that you aren’t going to be here anymore, beside me. Realizing this punches so many holes in my chest, you know, and all I can do is murmur to myself that you are scared, just like me.
I see how weak and human you are when I see you crying and going all weak and wrinkly. That sight kills me, and I can’t help but sag down and cry. But weirdly, crying isn’t like before, because I'm not a child anymore. It doesn’t relieve the burden on my chest, it merely shoves the reality into my face, which makes me stop crying. I cannot cry in front of you anymore. I cannot let you see me crying, because now, I am the one in charge. I am the one who should protect you.
Sooner or later, I will be gone too. But I know for sure, your love will continue to live and stay immortal in my heart. You do have a superpower, you know. A superpower to stay immortal. And even when I’m gone, you will exist and pervade this entire world, along with the sparkling little stars embroidering winter snow, sunlight lazily dozing off on the branches of a giant oak tree, and puffy, sweet pieces of cotton candy in a child’s hands. Your indescribable love will cling to beautiful things like those, and I assure you, you will live forever and a day. With me. In me.
Daddy.
I love you.
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