¡ã Kim Eun-soo (1) is not lonely anymore in his mother? arms.

Love story? Kind of. Love that is mightier than any kind in the world; between mother and child. A mother wrote this poem for her son, Eun-soo, who became her most adorable son from May, 2005. She did not suffer from any physical pain to give Eun-soo birth, but only had her heart full of love. Not painful at all, but a more difficult way to have a child is by adoption.

No. 1 in exporting children?
However happy it can be, adoption in Korea has been a serious problem so far. While the economical situation in Korea has remarkably developed, children's welfare still seems to remain in the 70s. In the past, people were unconscious about adopting a child, which is an important factor in children's welfare. Hence, when it came to adoption, it was inevitable to completely rely on foreign countries, especially on America. However, after 30 years of economical development followed by growing understanding in welfare, domestic adoptable children are still in great supply, but demand does not seem to follow. According to the survey conducted by Ministry of Health and Welfare in 2004, only 1,641 children were adopted domestically out of 3,899 total adopted children last year. Korea is even known as a country of adoptions in Belgium; with its' 5,000 adopted Koreans among about 5,500 Korean residents. Thousands of adopted Korean children growing abroad have difficulties in establishing their own identities, confused by different appearances and cultures around them.

¡ã Babies in an adoption center

Prejudice, highest wall to jump over
"It is lineage that makes adoption rare. Koreans are reluctant about accepting others' children as a member of a family and families related to adoption are thought to be inferior to them," says Lee Sung-hee, Publicist of Eastern Social Welfare Society, Inc. Traditional prejudice in Korean society is a hindrance to domestic adoptions. To Koreans, who still attach much importance to lineage, adopting a child is not naturally accepted. Still, adoption in Korea is only a story of others, which will never relate to most people in general. "I understand how important and righteous it is to adopt a child, though I am not sure I might try it. Placing myself as a parent, I am not confident enough to love an adopted child equally to my own child," says Kim Ha-rim (Sr., Dept of Public Admin.). In contrast to Americans, who adopt 65,000 children internationally regardless of their nationality, Koreans are too conservative about adopting Korean children. A fixed idea of the society that lineage should be maintained makes adoption strange and odd. Even more, a family with an adopted child is considered abnormal. "Under these circumstances, adoption in Korea is mostly practiced secretly," says Lee Hyun-joo, a staff in Public Relation team of Holt Children's Services, Inc.

¡ã Above A campaign to encourage domestic adoption

Adoption system, is it in the right order?
Besides consciousness, qualifications for adoption are controversial. Children's Service Organizations have their own standards such as being married, over 25 years old, less than 50 in age gap, and mentally and physically healthy. Some people insist that qualifications should be lightened to encourage more adoptions in our society. However, Children's Service Organizations show firm opinions about this controversy. "The standard is never too complicated. Since a child cannot choose their life by themselves and are defenseless about their future parents and future home, we cannot but make the most conservative choice," explains Lee. Park Jin-hee, Eun-soo's mother supports, "We did not find the qualifications picky; it was the best for the organization to send a child to a wholesome environment. Children should be sent to a guaranteed circumstance if possible." Still, many people suggest that we should give unmarried people a chance to adopt children, based on the fact that even unmarried people can also be a mother or a father in foreign countries. "Qualifications should not be compared to foreign countries'; each society has different backgrounds and views about adoption. Especially in a country like Korea where negative opinions are predominant, adopting conditions should be more cautious," say Eun-soo's parents.

Different opinions around commissions
Not all people are financially ready to adopt. However, for an adoption, a parent must pay two million won as an adoption fee to the organization. Adoption organizations in Korea are not authorized by the government but are private, unlike some other developed countries in which adoption organizations are publicly appointed and subsidies are given from the government. With adoption families burdened by commissions, controversies arise again. "Two million won is like another qualification we are asking for. It is for us to judge the economic competence of a parent," says Lee. "It would have cost even more than two million if we were to prepare to give birth. Since the government cannot handle all the children who are left out, it'd be better to think that commissions are for helping other children who are in the same difficult circumstances; in need of parent's love," adds Eun-soo's parents. The best way is for government subsidies to be provided. "Both adoption organizations and family's burden would be lessened in that way," says Lee from the Holt.

Step closer to a better society for adoption
To settle adoption in our society, the foremost task is a change in our consciousness. "The most important thing is tolerance, accepting the others' differences. Just like childbirth, adoption should be naturally regarded as another means to have a baby in our society," says Lee from the Eastern Social Welfare Society. This positive change in adoption, however, can never be fixed when it is done secretly. "Every year, thousands of children are adopted, but secretly. If adoptions are operated openly and viewed as a bright side of our society with the help of media, organizations, and government, adoptions will also be accepted naturally in our society," say Eun-soo's parents.
As well as qualifications and commissions in need of government subsidies, more improvements are needed. Various programs like adoption family's gatherings or meetings should be held constantly. These programs will draw  sympathy and encourage each other in raising a child. "We haven't tried yet, but for Eun-soo, we would like to participate sooner or later," say Eun-soo's parents. Also, a mothering program for children before getting adopted should be organized as well. Children need nothing but care of mother. One to one system should be made for children's emotional development. This system, of course, can only be actualized by heartful volunteers. Additionally, like  maternity leave, paid holidays should be made for adopting a child. By raising public consciousness and improving procedures, open adoption will be more widely accepted in Korea.

Act your love
"Many people, even I was afraid of adopting a child because of the misunderstanding that it is sacrificing to just give love. But the more I give and sacrifice myself, I know that I gain much more from Eun-soo," says Park. Adopting a child in Korea is full of misunderstanding and prejudice. But adoption is nothing but giving  birth by heart; nothing is complicated or difficult as people fear. Eun-soo's parents are confident. "People never know how deeply blessed we are to have Eun-soo. Never know; until you act your love."