DATEMATES ARE a big trend among young Koreans these days. Then, do you know
what datemates are? It literally means what it says: mates whom you go out on
dates with. They are different from lovers because you can have many datemates
without feeling guilty and you don't have to actually be in a serious
relationship with that person. So it could be a good excuse and a solution for
people who don't want to commit themselves into a relationship but still want to
have fun. But, is it really the perfect solution? We listened to what Yonseians
think about it.
Sr., Dept. of Bus. Admin.
think datemates are one way of meeting a person and there is nothing wrong with
it. People tend to attach with each other as they start dating seriously. This
can be a burden to some people. Moreover, since we are still students, I think a
casual relationship in which the person you are dating is a friend and a lover,
is much better than a deep relationship. If both sides agree on being datemates,
this could actually be a great way. However, the most important thing that
should be kept in mind is that both sides go through a talk to clarify the
limits and meaning of their relationship.
Soph., Area of Social Science
I don't criticize other people for having datemates because it's their choice
but personally I wouldn't have a datemate. I think the relationship between
datemates is very superficial. They date for their own sake not because they
like the other person. Some people have datemates for skinship. Others date each
other for reputation; they don't want to be involved in a relationship but want
to boast that they are attractive enough. In short, datemates are just a
meaningless contract between those people.
KLI student from U.S.A
absolutely for datemates. It's much better than committing to a relationship
before you wholly know a person and end breaking up. If you are in a casual
relationship with another person, you have more opportunities to actually get to
know that person. Moreover, why would you commit yourself to only one person
before getting married? I myself have had datemates and many people do too in
the States. It's a natural phenomenon so people don't criticize other people for
KLI student from Belarus
I think datemates are a bit strange because
dating someone without any sincere feelings seems as if you are only using that
person. In my country, there are not many people who have datemates. There are
although some people, usually women, who have datemates for economic reasons.
For example, when they don't have money but want to have fun, they call men to
have dates with them. All in all, if both sides have agreed on being datemates
there is no problem with that, but personally I don't understand it.
Datemates are part of the "cool" culture. Young
people tend to prefer instant, easy and convenient relationships in which they
can get what they want from their partner and not commit themselves in a deep
relationship. In a social aspect, the rise and expansion of individualism is why
people have datemates. As people grow up, they can emancipate from their
parents' meddling but face a similar kind of interference from their lovers.
Since people do not want this interference and want to maintain an independent
life, they tend to find people who have similar cultural preferences whom they
can date casually with. Datemates are not simply a trend; it's a new form of
relationship. Therefore, instead of criticizing datemates, we should lead it in
a positive direction through a profound introspection of
* Photographed by Kim Young-sung