RECENT KOREAN reality dating shows portray youthful non-celebrities audaciously submitting themselves to the public eye to find true love. Starting with Mate back in 2011, romance reality programs such as Heart Signal, Dolsingles, Transferring Love, and Single’s Inferno continue to enjoy mainstream popularity. The programs’ convincingly overdone romantic scenarios lure viewers into riding along the waves of intense emotions. However, such programs may turn into something more than mere entertainment: a toxic model of what love and gender roles are supposed to look like.

Perpetuating traditional gender stereotypes

   Sensationalizing the romantic sparks among cast members during the short filming period, these programs transform into fictional “dramas” that portray traditional images of masculinity and femininity, failing to depict the reality of romantic relationships. To begin with, it is to no one’s surprise that all the members casted for the shows are conventionally good looking, a human embodiment of standardized gender images deemed ideal in Korean society. The male casts appear with short hair and simple outfits—wearing pants and little to no accessories. Meanwhile, the female casts are dolled up with makeup, have relatively long, flowing hair, and wear cute dresses and flashy jewelry. Clearly, the way the cast members adorn and present themselves is quite formulaic. This is not to critique the casts’ stylistic choices but to highlight that this is not a mere coincidence. It is in fact the result of careful curation by the shows’ producers through a recruitment process based on how the casts appear on social media platforms[1]. In short, these shows are capitalizing on the audience’s zeal for their purposeful illustration of very rigid gender images. Dropped right into the producers’ grand scheme, cast members unconsciously get to perform their expected heteronormative roles. For example, male cast members always wait for female cast members to finish getting ready whenever they go on their dates and are always the ones who drive while female cast members passively sit in the passenger seat.

   Another layer of toxicity stems from the fact that the cast members’ every move is documented and could be broadcasted. Hence, cast members cannot help but be hyper aware of their looks and behaviors. Knowing that they will be subjected to unwarranted scrutiny at any given time, cast members become obsessed with acting as “normal” as possible. “Normal” behavior in the context of reality dating shows would be the active pursuit of the typical cis-gendered, heterosexual relationship. After this realization, it is dubious whether reality dating shows could even be remotely genuine, especially since everything is carried out in such a controlled, panopticon-like[2] environment.

The resounding impact of reality dating shows

   The crux of the argument is what the audience acquires from said shows, particularly from their portrayal of gendered images and behaviors. Although they may be subtle, viewers can instinctively learn from and even perpetuate these representations. According to qualitative research on how female viewers interact with reality dating shows, female viewers took note of how male cast members assessed female cast members’ behaviors, and eventually which type of woman they preferred[3]. Female viewers learned that “feminine” appearances and attitudes as depicted in the media were essential when being “chosen” by men[3]. The almost hypnotic power of these shows compelled the study’s female viewers to internalize this kind of femininity without any external coercion[3]. Audiences learn and adopt these stereotypical gender images as the norm, consequently ending up with an unhealthy, limited understanding of what a romantic relationship should entail.

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   The influence that reality dating shows can have on their viewers is still uncharted territory. However, it is clear that their contrived authenticity is cleverly promulgating unhealthy gender stereotypes—subtly defining the ideal image of romance. Although such shows claim to portray authentic personalities and relationships on screen, viewers should always be alert that this most likely may not be the case. Furthermore, it is time to reflect on the role popular media’s arbitrary notions of gender has had in our own lives.

[1] TV Daily

[2] Panopticon: A disciplinary concept in the form of a central observation tower placed within a circle of prisoned cells, where a single guard is capable of observing all the cells at once while the prisoners never know whether or not they are being watched

[3] Korean Journal of Broadcasting and Telecommunication Studies