EVERYONE WANTS to live a good life; a life that is healthy, happy, meaningful, and fulfilling. Yet, to most people, the notion of a good life is intangible and enigmatic, difficult to grasp, and out of reach. The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness sheds light on how readers should design their future to attain eudaimonia, a state of well-being in which they perceive life has meaning and purpose. Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, the two leaders of the 85-year-old Harvard Study on Adult Development, introduce personal stories of hundreds of study participants, drawing a compelling message to share with the readers.

The key to a good life

   Relationships are a powerful determiner of a good life. The book presents this ultimate message with great confidence and certitude. The study which began in 1938 by conducting interviews and collecting data from a group of 700 boys—comprising of Harvard undergraduates and underprivileged kids in Boston—expanded its sample size, bringing in the spouses of the original participants, their children, and grandchildren. The longitudinal study culminated in discovering a recurring message from such a robust database, revealing that all the nodes in our social networks matter greatly; social connections keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer.

   Relationships have a stress-relieving function, which is self-evident in our daily lives; sharing how a day went at the lunch table or confiding in a close friend in the face of hardships alleviates the heaviness of a mental burden. To add on, humans obtain vitality and new opportunities through social ties; this holds true for any kind of relationship, whether with a co-worker, family member, or an intimate partner. On the other hand, social isolation and loneliness make people vulnerable to chronic stress. While social connection can increase the likelihood of surviving by more than 50%, loneliness—comparable to smoking—is lethal and is the leading cause of preventable death. Thus, for a good life, time and energy must be invested in cultivating and maintaining warm and close relationships. With our social lives being living, dynamic systems which need exercise, social fitness—analogous to physical fitness—needs constant check-ups and maintenance.

A worrying trend

   The book’s message holds greater significance when put into the context of the rise of solitude in South Korea. The current socio-political discourse in South Korea is dominated by declining marriage rates and the surge in childless couples. Many people are claiming bi-hon, which means “willingly unmarried.” Marriage rates have dropped by 10% from 2020 to 2021[1], and the number of marriages in Seoul plummeted by 43% over the past 20 years[2]. Rising independence is reflected by the emergence of one-person households and hon-jok[3]. In fact, the proportion of one-person households was recorded as 33.4% in 2021 and is expected to rise to 39.6% by 2050[4]. Aside from living alone, an increasing number of people—especially among the young—are choosing to do activities alone, from eating and drinking to entertainment and traveling.

   The attention is drawn to analyze the rise of individualism as an intricate social phenomenon caused by a variety of factors; this includes the dismantlement of traditional large-scale communities after rapid industrialization, the refusal of women to commit to marriage and take on child-bearing roles, as well as the unbearable costs of raising a family in the risks of recession and high unemployment rates. However, it is important to note that the trends are symptoms of a profoundly concerning problem: the weakening of social ties and the deterioration of social fitness. The epidemic level of loneliness has been a chronic social problem, especially among the elderly, as effectively reflected through go-dok-sa or “lonely deaths.” The number of go-dok-sa has been on the rise for the past 5 years, reaching 3,300 by 2021[4]. Individuals who live alone are more dissatisfied with social relationships[5]; only 57.7% of one-person households are satisfied with familial relationships compared to 64.5% of the total population who display satisfaction. Those living alone are also 5% to 7% more incapable of reaching out for help when in need—to request household chores when they are not feeling well or when depressed[5]. Korea’s situation is a living epitome of the core message Waldinger and Schulz illustrate: social aloofness is a huge vulnerability.

Unlike any other self-help book

   Aside from its broad applicability to current issues, The Good Life is notable for its unique elements that differentiate it from other ordinary self-help books. First, the authors immaculately translate academic jargon into reader-friendly words despite being heavily based on academic research, effectively conveying information in colloquial language with casual and fluid narration that effectively aids the comprehension of new content. Second, the book is interactive as it embeds questionnaires used during the study, along with the direct responses from participants, prompting the readers to imagine themselves as study participants answering the same series of questions on life concerns, turning points, the number of closest confidants, or the frequency and level of anxiety and stress in everyday life. Moreover, the book incorporates engaging activities that challenge the readers to reflect on their own lives; for instance, the book introduces the “social universe,” which involves making a list of the closest 10 social relationships and locating each of them as dots on a two-dimensional coordinate system. The system comprises two axes indicating the frequency of contact with that person and the other the quality of contact: how energizing or depleting the contact is. Performing this activity is deeply contemplative and rewarding, as it brings realizations, regrets, and future resolutions on improving the current status of social relationships. Of course, the ample evidence taken directly from scientific studies is another distinction that enables the book’s message to avoid being overly aphoristic or truistic.

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   Imagine each relationship in your current life, however seemingly trivial or extraordinarily significant, as a unique star in the social universe—vast and expansive, full of infinite possibilities just like the universe itself. A good life can start by simply appreciating the dimmest to the brightest stars, and then perhaps embarking on a journey to discover new ones. With this lesson in mind, anyone—regardless of socioeconomic background, innate factors, or age—can unlock the key to a good life.

[1] The Washington Post

[2] The Korea Herald

[3] Hon-jok: A term that refers to people in South Korea who enjoy being alone, and willingly engage in activities alone that were conventionally considered to be done in groups, such as but not limited to drinking, eating, going to karaoke, and watching a movie

[4] Statistics Korea

[5] Ministry of Health and Welfare